Here’s the audio file too, if you want to listen to the story.
February 2015
Of all the people in our little dementia group at the gym, he was the hardest to reach. Spoke only when he was spoken to. Just a few words. Hanging on the edge of our conversations, stony-faced, eyes with just a flicker of interest.
But in our session last week, I’d helped him find the way down to the gents. And coming back, just him and me, he’d opened up.
— I used to love running. Ran for the Sale Harriers, I did. For years.
There was a little self-conscious smile at the memory he’d managed.
And now, today, I tried to get him talking again. Maybe because he was such a challenge. I wanted to get him involved.
— Remember you told me how you liked running? Well, I’ve just started again, the first time in years. I’m planning to do the Manchester 10K. Is that the sort of thing you used to do with Sale?
— They threw me out.
His wife jumped in.
— No they didn’t. It was the choir who threw you out, not the running club.
He turned back to me, shrugged shoulders and eyebrows, and I got half a smile again. A sheepish one.
Our conversation was over.
Never miss a thing
Why are we all always so keen to correct? ‘You’re wrong, I’m right. My truth is better than yours.’
As facts merge with fiction for my own Alzheimer’s partner, I’m slowly learning to bite my tongue. If that’s her story, then I’m ready to stick with it. At least she has a story.
It’s a good lesson. If we could just quietly accept that others are entitled to alternative truths, different realities, then the world would be a kinder place.
2 responses
A good recap on the usefulness and appropriate nature of truth, especially, and always personal truth, and good to reflect back on our recent shared thoughts in the pub in Ludd. Your story continues with such insight and always good now to hear your complementary voice unfolding the text. It’s a wonderful project Alan..!
Thanks Dale. It was so good to catch up with you again, and to meet Jackie properly. Really was like old times, wasn’t it, as the thoughts began to flow? Did you notice I’d slipped one of our collaborations into the website? Everyone needs to see your work. Skimming through your work on Carbonmade, I had no idea you’ve been so prolific in these last few years. We’re two-way fans!